Tuesday, 9 October 2012

I've Got Ants In My Pants

Hey Y'all, Carm here.

So much is going on that sometimes I feel like I'm loosing my head, and if it wasn't attached...

I guess at some point in everyone's life - or every other day in my life - we all look around and wonder how we got here and where we go from here...

Today is one of those days for me.  And there are pros and cons, or rather, good and bad things about where I am right now.

Here are the pros:

- I have never been happier with my music & band than I am today
- I can finally say I am a confident woman and vocalist
- I'm employed, have great friends, a roof over my head


- My mom is still my biggest fan
- I can't seem to get my music out there to be heard
- my PA system still gets drowned out from time to time by the other instruments
- I can't afford to go on the road with the band yet

I have this need to just get back on stage. I think this is what is making me restless and annoyed by all the other little things that need to be done to market a band.

I just want to sing.  I want to sing and make people feel the way I do when I DO sing for them...

It's in my blood now.  The performance, the rush... not knowing what kind of show it will be.

So here I write, eagerly waiting for the next show... Remembering a time when I could look down into the audience and not only see familiar faces, but new ones... watching so intently, listening to every beat, every word...

I am writing again, a lot.  Songs about love, heartache, destiny, all the good stuff... But something more has happened.  I have become a different writer. I can't tell if it is for the better yet, but by experimenting with some new methods, I feel I am growing as an artist.

I just want to be heard.  Music is my voice.

- Ants in my Pants

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